That's right. I have only 18 days left before I'm done massaging forever. Or at least, I hope forever. I'll always have it to fall back on, but if it ends up that way then something will have gone horribly wrong. No, I pray I never have to return to my old profession again.
Instead, I'm focusing on my impending freedom. Halloween approaches and with it comes new possibilities and a future that is, as yet, undecided. True, I'm glamourizing a transfer into full time retail work but I don't care. As everyone begins to find out about my leaving the massage therapy profession, they always ask the same question. What am I going to do? My answer? I haven't the foggiest. I desperately want to be a full time writer, but how often does that happen? And it sounds so delusional to proclaim to all that I will be a writer. After all, if I don't make it then everyone will be aware of my failure. Not to mention, I haven't a clue as to what else I'm interested in. Writing is my secret dream, one I follow doggedly and relentlessly, but I accept that I may have to settle for something else.
As long as my new career is something that I love, than I don't care what it is. I just don't want to get out of bed every morning dreading the work day ahead. That to me is real failure. I just want to be happy. I'm sick of hating my job. I want to love my job. Is that too much to ask? Shut up no it isn't.
In the past, I thought it was too much to ask. For a long time I assumed that you had to hate your job, that there is no job that makes people happy. I thought that having a job defaulted you to hating life, that was the reality of things. But I'm learning that's not entirely true. Matt, for example, LOVES his job. He gets up most mornings excited to go there, and I am so excited for him (and also super jealous).
ReplyDeleteJust as I'm sure there's not only ONE person out there for everyone, I'm sure there's multiple careers that one could be happy doing. At least I'm hoping that's the case, because I dream of sitting in a fancy office with a bunch of tropical plants and Pier 1 desk accessories, editing books from people like you, but I'm hoping shooting people with radiation and looking at their bones will make me pretty happy, too.
Here's hoping sweet pea!! I pray we both find happiness and fulfillment in our future careers!!
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