Sunday, June 24, 2012

Another Piece of Flash Fiction

Hello all!

I'm recovering nicely from my monstrous cold, and in celebration I thought I'd share with you a piece of flash fiction I wrote for the Wattpad Workshop Series, hosted by Alice Kuipers. This week's writing prompt was to imagine that you walk into a room you know well, only to discover a trap door hidden in the floor. Here's my attempt, I hope you enjoy it!

I suppose it was boredom more than anything that made me do it. 

The rain was pouring down outside for the fifth day in a row and my skin was crawling. The power had been out for over an hour and I'd run out of things to do, which I suppose is why I was cleaning my office.

I'd lit a single candle, its trembling flame casting shadows on the walls. The room had become a dumping ground for all the things I didn't want to deal with, and after five days of rain I was finally willing to give it a go. 

Part of me believes that it wasn't there before, that the rain and boredom and mess called it into being. However it got there, it was indeed there. I was pulling a dusty, old armchair across the floor when a leg caught the carpet and tore it, pulling it cleanly up and away from the floor. 

"Shit!" I fell to my knees, clutching the torn carpet in my hands.

Beneath the carpet, in the flickering light of the candle, something caught my eye. I lifted the carpet higher, wincing as it tore even more. It was a handle, a small, flat little handle that appeared to be attached to a trap door.

Curiosity piqued, I abandoned all hope of fixing the carpet and tore it back. I was right. It was a trap door. I lifted the handle, opening the lid with a loud creak.

A small, wooden staircase disappeared down into the darkness. I stood, considering it, even attempting to talk myself out of it, before I picked up the candle and carefully made my way down the stairs.

If I'd know I could never come back, I wonder if I still would have done it. But then, decisions are easier when you don't know the consequences.

There you have it! I hope you enjoyed it, I had fun writing it. I hope you've all had a great weekend, and as always, I encourage you to leave comments, questions and feedback below in the comments section. Feel free to follow this blog, as well as find me on twitter @MelanieKCole. Have a great night!

8 comments:

  1. Bah! Now I need to know where the trap door leads!!! Also, holy brave batman! Mysterious staircases are a little too intimidating for me to go alone!!
    Awesome piece of flash fiction!!

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  2. I want more...what happens next?

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  3. Well done, Melanie!

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  4. Hello Melanie!
    Your flash fiction is some of my favorite writing in your blog. The piece I like the most is, "The Key," I think - or "The Painting." I was filled with anticipation throughout the short story, and emotions of wonder lingered!

    In the above flash fiction, I was the intrigued at the end. As the other commenters say, I wanted to know more. Your definite strong points are the amazing finishes to to your flash fiction stories. I wonder, though, if other parts of the story could have been tighter. For example, when you first mention the handle, I would have left out that it looked like a trap door. If I saw a handle on the floor, I'm not sure what it would be until I actually pulled on it. My thoughts and imagination would be all over the place.

    As you know, Melanie, I enjoy your flash fiction & the 5-sentence stories. You're very talented!

    Monique

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  5. Thanks everyone! I appreciate all your comments! Monique, great notes (and thanks for the awesome compliments!)! I'll keep them in mind for my next piece of flash fiction. You are all so wonderful!

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  6. Melanie -
    I'm nervous when I give that kind of feedback because I'm not sure if you would be open to it or be offended. I'm giving you the opinion from a reader's perspective primarily, and as a writer secondarily. If you visit my website & blog, I would appreciate your perspective - graciously.

    I apologize if I went too far in my G+ note. My notes come from a place of true enjoyment of your writing.

    Monique

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    1. I am always happy to hear honest and constructive feedback!! Thanks for taking the time to do so, I'll be sure to check out your blog as well!

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  7. amazing!! looovvvveeee your blog!!!

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