Hello all!
I'm recovering nicely from my monstrous cold, and in celebration I thought I'd share with you a piece of flash fiction I wrote for the Wattpad Workshop Series, hosted by Alice Kuipers. This week's writing prompt was to imagine that you walk into a room you know well, only to discover a trap door hidden in the floor. Here's my attempt, I hope you enjoy it!
I suppose it was boredom more than anything that made me do it.
The rain was pouring down outside for the fifth day in a row and my
skin was crawling. The power had been out for over an hour and I'd run
out of things to do, which I suppose is why I was cleaning my office.
I'd lit a single candle, its trembling flame casting shadows on the
walls. The room had become a dumping ground for all the things I didn't
want to deal with, and after five days of rain I was finally willing to
give it a go.
Part of me believes that it wasn't there before, that the rain and
boredom and mess called it into being. However it got there, it was
indeed there. I was pulling a dusty, old armchair across the floor when a
leg caught the carpet and tore it, pulling it cleanly up and away from
the floor.
"Shit!" I fell to my knees, clutching the torn carpet in my hands.
Beneath the carpet, in the flickering light of the candle, something
caught my eye. I lifted the carpet higher, wincing as it tore even
more. It was a handle, a small, flat little handle that appeared to be attached to a trap door.
Curiosity piqued, I abandoned all hope of fixing the carpet and tore
it back. I was right. It was a trap door. I lifted the handle, opening
the lid with a loud creak.
A small, wooden staircase disappeared down into the darkness. I
stood, considering it, even attempting to talk myself out of it, before I
picked up the candle and carefully made my way down the stairs.
If I'd know I could never come back, I wonder if I still would have
done it. But then, decisions are easier when you don't know the
consequences.
There you have it! I hope you enjoyed it, I had fun writing it. I hope you've all had a great weekend, and as always, I encourage you to leave comments, questions and feedback below in the comments section. Feel free to follow this blog, as well as find me on twitter @MelanieKCole. Have a great night!
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Bah! Now I need to know where the trap door leads!!! Also, holy brave batman! Mysterious staircases are a little too intimidating for me to go alone!!
ReplyDeleteAwesome piece of flash fiction!!
I want more...what happens next?
ReplyDeleteWell done, Melanie!
ReplyDeleteHello Melanie!
ReplyDeleteYour flash fiction is some of my favorite writing in your blog. The piece I like the most is, "The Key," I think - or "The Painting." I was filled with anticipation throughout the short story, and emotions of wonder lingered!
In the above flash fiction, I was the intrigued at the end. As the other commenters say, I wanted to know more. Your definite strong points are the amazing finishes to to your flash fiction stories. I wonder, though, if other parts of the story could have been tighter. For example, when you first mention the handle, I would have left out that it looked like a trap door. If I saw a handle on the floor, I'm not sure what it would be until I actually pulled on it. My thoughts and imagination would be all over the place.
As you know, Melanie, I enjoy your flash fiction & the 5-sentence stories. You're very talented!
Monique
Thanks everyone! I appreciate all your comments! Monique, great notes (and thanks for the awesome compliments!)! I'll keep them in mind for my next piece of flash fiction. You are all so wonderful!
ReplyDeleteMelanie -
ReplyDeleteI'm nervous when I give that kind of feedback because I'm not sure if you would be open to it or be offended. I'm giving you the opinion from a reader's perspective primarily, and as a writer secondarily. If you visit my website & blog, I would appreciate your perspective - graciously.
I apologize if I went too far in my G+ note. My notes come from a place of true enjoyment of your writing.
Monique
I am always happy to hear honest and constructive feedback!! Thanks for taking the time to do so, I'll be sure to check out your blog as well!
Deleteamazing!! looovvvveeee your blog!!!
ReplyDelete