It's Possible I Might Be A Little Stressed

I've never been more ready for the weekend. This week, although short due to the previous long weekend, was still too long. And the funny thing is, I had no idea how stressed I've been all week until this morning.

Last night I went to bed especially early, hoping to get a good night's sleep. Alas, sleep alluded me and I woke up several times throughout the night. This morning I found myself running late as I tried to get ready and didn't make it out the door until I was already five minutes late. If that wasn't bad enough, even though I'd let my car run for a good fifteen minutes while I was getting ready, it still refused to shift out of park when I got inside. I sat there in the car, getting more and more irritated as I watched the minutes tick by. Soon I was ten minutes, then I was fifteen minutes late. It was around this point that I'd had enough. I'm ashamed to admit I had a full on hissy fit in the car, beating the dashboard with my fists as I howled in frustration. I even sobbed a little. A few minutes passed and I was finally allowed to escape my parking spot. It didn't matter that my bosses are away and they wouldn't have minded anyway that I was a few minutes late. I was just so frustrated that I couldn't take it anymore. And if you'd asked me when I got up that morning if I thought I might break down into a hissy fit today, I would have told you that you were crazy.

I was in a foul mood when I got to work, to say the least. And as I sat at my desk, quietly waiting for my frustration and fury to recede into a more pleasant demeanor, I couldn't help but admit I needed this weekend. Last weekend - the long weekend - was supposed to be my restorative weekend. The one where I got my house cleaned, my laundry done and took care of all things me. Unfortunately, I caught a hideous cold and spent the entire weekend in abject misery and returned to work on Tuesday more tired than before.

So, I have big plans for this weekend. And they all revolve around me. It may be selfish, but as my coworkers will attest, it's necessary.

Feelin' Burnt Out

I'd hoped I was adapting to my new, regular work schedule but it appears I'm not quite there yet. I'm in my 3rd week at my new job (which I still love - make no mistake about that!) and I'm still exhausted at the end of the day.

Everything seems to fall by the wayside in the wake of my excessive tiredness. I've been lazy with the dishes and walking the dog (poor Maddie!) and I haven't been writing as much. I've been feeling the crush on my creative juices as well. I'm less inclined to create new stories, I feel as though I have fewer ideas.

Part of me thinks I should just give myself a kick in the butt, tired or not, and I should just force myself to get up, clean the house and walk the dog. Chances are, if I just got up and did the work, got out in the fresh air, I'd feel better and more energized.

The other half of me - the tired half - thinks I need to just give in. That if I just spent a few days with my brain shut off, catching up on sleep, resting, reading a good book, then I'll feel better. Renewed.

The problem is that the two sides are in battle with each other. I don't have the time to listen to my tired side, and my tired side is making it hard for me to listen to my butt-kicking side. Overall, I'd really like to just inject caffeine directly into my brain. I suppose it would help if I drank coffee. Too bad I can't stand the stuff.
In the meantime, I'm just going to keep plodding along until one side is declared the winner.