If you're wondering about the title of this particular post, it's a quote from Modern Family. The reason I am spouting some of the show's immense wisdom is due to the irritation I often feel towards my otherwise sweet and loving husband.
The problem with my husband is that he's never been very good at comforting or encouraging. If you're sad for the love of God don't go to him looking for soothing words. The same goes for any sort of dream or aspiration. My husband lacks the ability to make the leap of faith, even if it means having faith in me. He's a lot like my parents that way. He'll always be the one to point out how things can go wrong, and never the one to claim that I can do anything I put my mind to. He, like my parents, are what I like to call pessimistic realists. They look at the cold, unfeeling facts and always go towards the downside. The speech usually goes, "yes but how is that supposed to work out? If it doesn't you'll be out this much money or this much time, etc etc etc." It's exhausting being the only one to believe in yourself.
The truth is, I know that they are all looking out for me, trying to keep me from making mistakes, but sometimes mistakes are necessary. Sometimes you need to try and fail, at least then you know that you tried. And maybe, every once in a while, you won't fail. You'll succeed.
It's a lot easier to run that marathon when you have a cheering section. I know I need to concentrate on proving them all wrong, but it can be exhausting pushing against your own doubts as well as everyone else's. It would be nice to hear someone say that I could do it.
As I've learned from Modern Family, I would prefer it if they were the wind at my back instead of the spit in my face. (Ah, Modern Family. What don't you teach us?)
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I know how you feel, sometimes Matt can be strangely cold and detached from my feelings, often only taking the time to point out that "being upset about that doesn't make sense" or something of that nature. I know it's his way of calculatedly and scientifically being helpful, and sometimes it does help. But most often, I'd like a hug and to hear the words "It's ok, I'm here for you" or something to that cliche effect. Let's just chalk it up to being "a man thing".
ReplyDeleteI, too, have an insane amount of people like that in my life. It's hard enough building the courage to have faith in yourself and take leaps, and it's that much harder when you're surrounded by "pessimistic realists"-- sums up my family, as well.
ReplyDeleteI have accepted that I will never change the perspective of some of these pessimistic realists, and no matter what I do or say, I won't be able to suddenly earn their faith. I have learned to be tight lipped in regards to what I choose to share with them, and instead, pull motivational energy from the few people in my life who do have faith in me.