Today I found myself bent over my couch with a dull razor, giving it a shave. Why you may ask, was I shaving my couch? No, I haven't gone crazy (relatively speaking). My couch has the nasty habit of becoming rather fuzzy. And after exhausting all other options to no avail, I followed a friend's advice and attacked my couch with a razor, desperately attempting to return it to its prior flawless condition.
I think the real question is, why would a fuzzy couch drive me to such extremes? Well, lately things have been rather out of my control, and every free moment I have I feel the need to fill with something. I write, I garden, I de-fuzzify the couch. I just can't sit still, because sitting still means allowing the clouds of worry and terror descend upon me and my fragile mind. Instead, I need to be occupied. Busy. Productive. The only way to maintain my sanity seems to be to act crazy. Why am I worried and feeling out of control? Well, I'm currently looking for a new job, as is my husband. My husband's job has finally ended (which is no surprise, we've known about it for a long time), but as such, I can no longer be content with the insufficient hours and low pay I receive at my current job. So, both of us are on the lookout. And there's only so much you can do. You apply and apply and apply, and then you wait. It's mind numbing. For so many jobs the process seems endless, and in the meantime all you can do is wait and worry. It's out of your hands.
Which brings me back to shaving my couch. I guess I just need to feel in control of something. When I do yard work, or shave the couch, I can see change occurring. I am affecting something, I am in control of it. Whereas with job hunting, so much of it is out of my control. So, I will continue to shave my couch, weed and rake my yard, scrub and clean my house, in an attempt to save my sanity through this nerve racking process. At least my couch is finally getting a good shave.