First an update on my NaNoWriMo progress. So far, I remain on target and I'm very proud of that. I don't know if I'll meet today's target, though. I feel as though my brain needs a break from all of this creativity. I'm tired of my twisted, go nowhere story, but I think that's the point of all this. Learn to carry on. If you don't like the story, change it. In the words of Erin Morgenstern, "when in doubt, just add ninjas." Why not? If the story is boring, or feels like it's going nowhere, throw a wrench in it. Throw an obstacle at your characters, give them a ridiculous nervous tick, do whatever you need to make your story more exciting and enjoyable to write. The purpose of NaNoWriMo is not to come up with a pullitzer winning novel. The point is to teach yourself to write every day, to challenge yourself and free yourself to be as creative as possible. Maybe my brain doesn't need a break from creativity, maybe it needs another dose of it!
Unfortunately, this is not my only problem. As any of my loyal readers know (and I love you by the way), I consistently have a ridiculous amount of problems. I blame my ability to make the worst decisions possible. Whatever the wrong decision is, that's the one I choose. Now, I've done a few things right. I married a wonderful man. I bought a house when there was a lull in the market and now at today's prices I would never have been able to afford a house. At the same time, my husband and I were not financially ready to buy a house when we did. And we certainly shouldn't have gone on vacation. And we really shouldn't have bought a dog a few months before we went on that vacation. And I really shouldn't have signed up for a $1000 massage course for right after that vacation. Oops.
Now, the fact that our dog ended up eating a rag, getting deathly ill and accumulating $3000 in vet bills is just bad luck. And the fact that this happened when it was too late to back out and get a refund on the class was just unfortunate timing. But I never should have signed up for the class when we had so much going on. And we shouldn't have rung up such a huge bill while on vacation when we had just bought a house and a dog.
We are still recovering from a long line of bad financial decisions. We're doing really great and we're making progress, but climbing out of the hole you've dug is a whole lot harder than digging it.
So, here's my problem. I have a very happy home. A home that's content and full of love. And there's a dog that needs a home. A beautiful six year old Great Dane, a boy. Would taking on another dog be another of my terrible life decisions? Can we afford another dog? Do we have enough room? Do we have enough room in our hearts? And if we didn't take him and he got destroyed, could I forgive myself? I don't know. And I've been tormented for days.
Tomorrow, my husband and I are going to meet him. I don't know if we're meant to be his new home, or if we're meant to help find him his new home. I don't know if he's the right fit for our family. I'm trying to proceed with caution. The plan is to meet him, sleep on it, talk it over and then, if it feels right, let him meet our dog, Maddie. If that goes well then we'll sleep on it, talk it over and maybe see him again, take him and Maddie for a walk. I want to take it slow. I can't afford to let another stupid decision break the decidedly hard-earned peace in our home. Ugh. I hate life decisions.