"There's no point in spending your life in the pursuit of something that's easy." - Alice Kuipers

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Being Rude

Sometimes I wish I was rude. Okay the truth is I am rude, but I wish I was more rude. Rude people don't put up with other people's bull shit. Rude people tell the world where to put it. I like that.
Today I had a client whom I wish I had the balls to be rude to. He was an insignificant, unspectacular runt of a man who felt it was appropriate to boss me around. I hate it when people insinuate that they could do my job better, or that I'm doing mine insufficiently. First of all, I'm in on a Saturday on the long weekend so shut your mouth. Secondly, unless you have an understanding of human anatomy and how massage techniques create different reactions in the body and muscle tissue, then no you couldn't do my job better than me. Asshole. What I should have done, was rudely interrupt him and lecture him on why he's stupid and I'm not but I didn't. Because I don't know how to be that rude.
The same goes for every other situation in my life when people are stupid or rude. When I'm working at my retail job and a customer starts to freak out about a misunderstanding on the price of an item, I'd love to look her sternly in the eye and tell her to settle down, she's acting like a child. Or, when people just walk up to me and start talking to my dog and trying to pet her without asking when we're out for a walk. For God's sake people, I may have a schedule to keep and you have no idea if my dog is friendly.
If only I could be that rude, but I can't. I just don't have it in me. Okay, I have it in me but not the follow through. I guess it's for the best. Being rude gets you fired, and sometimes punched in the face.


  1. Being rude does not always result in violence or firings if you do it in the right way. You have to be sneaky and underhanded in your rudenesss, so that people don't really realize you were rude until they have already walked away and are reassessing what just happened.

    But take it from someone who knows: once you stop putting up with peoples' bullshit, it's a slippery slope. You start out slagging off a person here or there, and suddenly you're snapping at every turn, no matter how small the infraction. You have to learn to control your rude powers, and only use them when absolutely necessary, like when some asshole starts ordering you around like you're his personal servant. Someone like THAT deserves a serving of rudeness.

    Or if someone ditches a kitten and she ends up dead, it's ok to be rude to them: they need to be held accountable.

  2. If someone kills a kitten, I'm pretty sure that makes them the antichrist.