"There's no point in spending your life in the pursuit of something that's easy." - Alice Kuipers

Monday, February 25, 2013

The Monday Morning Weekend Conundrum

How was your weekend? Isn't that such an odd question? There's really no good way to answer it. Unless of course something really fabulous happened, like you got married in Vegas, or got invited to a major movie premier, or maybe got pulled up on stage at a Rolling Stone concert. But more often than not it's usually just a one word answer. Good. Or maybe, if you did something slightly interesting, pretty good.

It's become the obligatory question on a Monday morning that makes us all feel inadequate. You have to stop and think, how did I spend all that free time? On a weeknight, there's no scrutiny when you have a bowl of ice cream, watch a TV show or two and hit the sack early. But on a weekend, aren't we supposed to do something? Even though, deep down, all we really want to do is take multiple naps?

It's easy to feel guilty when you're talking to one of those superstars that spend the weekend running a marathon or solving an eight hundred year old murder. But at the same time, you don't want to get caught talking to that poor soul who goes on and on about how they spent the entire weekend making an egg salad sandwich ala The 40 Year Old Virgin. (Even though, let's face it, they do make you feel pretty good about your own life). What's to become of this question? Either we need to stop asking, and leave each other's weekends shrouded in mystery, or we need to start getting out there and actually doing some stuff.

This leaves me with a bit of a conundrum. I'm a big fan of doing nothing and taking multiple naps on weekends, but at the same time, I don't see us giving up the whole "how was your weekend?" ice breaker. How else are you going to start a conversation with your coworkers on a Monday morning? If we stop asking, will the laws of society break down? Will we descend into anarchy? Maybe. But I still don't see myself giving up on weekend naps.

Maybe we need a new question. Something more specific. Perhaps, on Monday mornings, when you and a coworker catch yourselves hanging out at the water cooler, you should try something different. Something like, "So, did you kill anyone this weekend?" That way, you still have an ice breaker with your coworker, without having to hear about how they built houses for the homeless or made an especially complicated turkey sandwich, and they get to feel good knowing they didn't spend their weekend committing murder. And, if by chance they did kill someone and confess, you can report them to the police and become a hero. It's win win for everyone! (Except of course for the coworker who murdered someone, but really that's their punishment for murder).

What do you think? Have I solved yet another problem for society, as well as possibly future murders? What question do you think should replace the standard, "how was your weekend?" Share it in the comment section below.


  1. How about instead of avoiding the sandwich we head right there with a simple:
    Make any elaborate sandwiches this weekend?