Recently I came up with a concept that I think will revolutionize dating life. And no, I don't think it matters that I've been married for years and started dating my husband in high school, so don't bother pointing it out. It's called Roger the Date Octopus and it's about to make meeting Mr or Mrs Right a whole lot easier.
It started at coffee with the girls, where my sister was crocheting a stuffed octopus for a friend to give as a baby gift. It was adorable and I couldn't stop playing with it, slowly having it emerge from under the table and swim across the table at people. Which got me thinking, what a fabulous conversational ice breaker! You know that moment on every first date, where the conversation stutters and fails and you're both left floundering in awkward silence? That's where Roger the Date Octopus comes in.
It's the perfect test for compatibility. When the awkward moment hits, just subtly pull Roger the Date Octopus from your bag and have him emerge from under the table. Keeping a straight face, make him swim across the table to the other person. If they laugh at your adorable eccentricity and marvel at your flair for breaking awkward silence, then you know that they're worth a second date. If they're weirded out, or respond with haughty condescension, they're out like a bag of wet garbage. Voila! Roger the Date Octopus has saved the day.
If you want to get a little more creative with it, before going out you could also pin a note card with a conversation starter to each of his tentacles. Although I think Roger the Date Octopus already provides plenty by way of an ice breaker.
So, I think it's clear that I've revolutionized dating. It's only a matter of time before I get my own book deal and end up on Oprah. This is your opportunity to get in on the ground floor my friends, before everyone else is doing it. It's time to introduce the world to Roger the Date Octopus!
The picture is a little blurry, but you get the idea. Want one for yourself? Just visit my sister's Etsy site, send her a message and custom order one. Here is the link: Crochet by Megs. Remember, Mr/Mrs Right is just a Roger the Date Octopus away.