Every once in a while, it can get a little grating to hear about the illustrious careers of successful writers. Especially if you've just had a particularly upsetting rejection. At those points, the last thing you want to hear about is how such and such a writer won tens of dozens of literary awards and graduated with a Masters Degree at the top of their class. Your own well of self doubt seems to triple and overflow as you read about how another author was recognized as brilliant with only a first draft, how they seemed to be a born natural with a gift for storytelling. It's not to say that you aren't happy for them, or that you don't want to follow in their footsteps. But it can put your own writing career in pretty stark contrast and make you feel, well, pretty small. So, to brighten your day and fill you with hope, I present this merry gathering of interesting facts about some of history's favourite writers. Enjoy!
Writers Who Didn't Go to College/University
Mark Twain (dropped out of school at age 12)
Charles Dickens (dropped out of school at age 12)
Ray Bradbury
George Orwell
H.G. Wells
Writers Who Weren't Appreciated Until They Were Dead
Edgar Allan Poe
Emily Dickinson
Rejection Hall of Famers
C.S. Lewis had over 800 rejections before he sold a single thing.
Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell was rejected by 25 publishers.
Gertrude Stein submitted her poetry for 22 years before one was accepted.
Rudyard Kipling was told in one of his rejection letters that he didn't know how to use the English language.
A Wrinkle in Time by Margaret Engle (which won the Newbery Medal) was rejected 26 times before it was accepted.
27 different publishers rejected Dr. Seuss' first book.
E.E. Cummings' first book The Enormous Room was rejected by 15 publishers. He eventually self published and it went on to be considered a masterpiece of modern poetry. He dedicated it to the 15 publishers who rejected him.
Are we feeling a little better? Just remember, the only one who really needs to believe in you is you. If you believe you have something special, don't give up. It might be the next masterpiece.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Monday, January 28, 2013
Budgets and Dreams
Becoming a writer is hard work, but it can also be pretty expensive. I know what you're thinking, "pen, paper, done. What more do you need?" But anyone who's tried seriously pursuing a career in writing can tell you it cost them more than a few late fees on their library card. Allow me to explain.
MFA in Writing
The natural course for a lot of writers is to pursue their Masters of Fine Arts in Writing. Unfortunately, unless you're already a successful writer (and don't really need it) you won't be able to get in without a bachelor's degree. Paying for the MFA courses can be expensive enough, but they also want you to devote four years of your time and money into getting what I affectionately refer to as a 'garbage degree' first. Sorry, I have a full time job, a house and a husband. I can't afford the expense to my wallet or my time.
Workshops and Conferences
Workshops and conferences are a great way to take in classes, market your manuscript and make connections with the writing and publishing community. However, you're probably going to have to travel for most of them, meaning that besides the cost of the conference or workshop, you'll also have travel fees as well as be taking time off work. It's a worthwhile investment if you can afford it, but it can be pretty costly.
Classes
Classes, especially online classes, can be pretty expensive. An eight week course with mediabistro is generally around $550. A one day webinar with Writer's Digest is generally about $90. That might not sound like a lot, but it's literally a single class. One. That's all you get. For a writer on a budget, it forces them to ask themselves some pretty tough questions. Such as, "do I really need to eat this week?"
Books and Magazines
There are a lot of really fabulous books and magazines on writing out there that can offer a lot of guidance, and although the expense is often a small one (especially if you have a well stocked library), it can still add up. A couple of subscriptions and a Writer's Market and my entertainment budget is blown for the month.
Is It Worth It?
I'm not trying to say that any of the above aren't worth it. Nor am I trying to say that you shouldn't think about a career in writing. What I'm trying to do is prepare you (and your wallet) for the reality of professional development. I'm not saying you have to give any of the above options a try either, there are a lot of free options that you can turn to. Look into your local Writer in Residence and public library. They often have free programs to help emerging writers find their voice. Maybe you could start a critique group with other writers where you give each other feedback. Just remember that all dreams come with a cost, whether it be to our time, our fortitude, our wallets or all of the above. Ask yourself what you are able (and willing) to give.
MFA in Writing
The natural course for a lot of writers is to pursue their Masters of Fine Arts in Writing. Unfortunately, unless you're already a successful writer (and don't really need it) you won't be able to get in without a bachelor's degree. Paying for the MFA courses can be expensive enough, but they also want you to devote four years of your time and money into getting what I affectionately refer to as a 'garbage degree' first. Sorry, I have a full time job, a house and a husband. I can't afford the expense to my wallet or my time.
Workshops and Conferences
Workshops and conferences are a great way to take in classes, market your manuscript and make connections with the writing and publishing community. However, you're probably going to have to travel for most of them, meaning that besides the cost of the conference or workshop, you'll also have travel fees as well as be taking time off work. It's a worthwhile investment if you can afford it, but it can be pretty costly.
Classes
Classes, especially online classes, can be pretty expensive. An eight week course with mediabistro is generally around $550. A one day webinar with Writer's Digest is generally about $90. That might not sound like a lot, but it's literally a single class. One. That's all you get. For a writer on a budget, it forces them to ask themselves some pretty tough questions. Such as, "do I really need to eat this week?"
Books and Magazines
There are a lot of really fabulous books and magazines on writing out there that can offer a lot of guidance, and although the expense is often a small one (especially if you have a well stocked library), it can still add up. A couple of subscriptions and a Writer's Market and my entertainment budget is blown for the month.
Is It Worth It?
I'm not trying to say that any of the above aren't worth it. Nor am I trying to say that you shouldn't think about a career in writing. What I'm trying to do is prepare you (and your wallet) for the reality of professional development. I'm not saying you have to give any of the above options a try either, there are a lot of free options that you can turn to. Look into your local Writer in Residence and public library. They often have free programs to help emerging writers find their voice. Maybe you could start a critique group with other writers where you give each other feedback. Just remember that all dreams come with a cost, whether it be to our time, our fortitude, our wallets or all of the above. Ask yourself what you are able (and willing) to give.
Friday, January 25, 2013
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Ringing
Welcome one and all to another glorious Friday! And what better way to celebrate than with Five Sentence Fiction? This week's prompt is ringing. If you'd like to learn more, or give it a try yourself, just visit Lillie McFerrin Writes. Enjoy!
Moira shuddered every time she heard the sound of the bell ringing in the distance. She knew what it meant. They'd taken someone else. She and all the other townspeople would have been furious with Mr. Rivers for what he'd done, probably killed him to be honest, if he hadn't been the first to be taken. Now there was nothing they could do, he'd insulted them somehow and they wouldn't stop until they'd had their revenge.
I hope you enjoyed this week's edition of Five Sentence Fiction! If you did, please feel free to check out the links below and read past week's editions. As always, I welcome your comments below in the comments section. Have a great weekend!
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Forgotten
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Inspire
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Midnight
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Ending
Moira shuddered every time she heard the sound of the bell ringing in the distance. She knew what it meant. They'd taken someone else. She and all the other townspeople would have been furious with Mr. Rivers for what he'd done, probably killed him to be honest, if he hadn't been the first to be taken. Now there was nothing they could do, he'd insulted them somehow and they wouldn't stop until they'd had their revenge.
I hope you enjoyed this week's edition of Five Sentence Fiction! If you did, please feel free to check out the links below and read past week's editions. As always, I welcome your comments below in the comments section. Have a great weekend!
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Forgotten
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Inspire
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Midnight
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Ending
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
The Sting of Rejection
"Love and marriage, love and marriage,
They go together like a horse and carriage."
There's something else that goes together like a horse and carriage, and I'm not talking about peanut butter and jelly. I'm talking about writers and rejection. It's a lesson every writer must learn before they start sending their work out into the world and if you think you can avoid it, think again. It's a rite of passage we all must go through.
I was very lucky. When I first started showing my work to a Writer in Residence, she was very supportive and helpful, but she was also very realistic. She told me right from the start not to send my work out if rejection was something I couldn't handle. And if I had any illusions over how much rejection there would be, she squashed them when she told me that for every 100 submissions I made, I could expect 99 rejections. With such a blunt and abrupt truth welded to my brain, I began sending out my work. And you know what? With that bit of knowledge already crystal clear in my mind, I found the rejections didn't hurt nearly as much as I thought they would.
Sure, rejection is still disappointing. I would like nothing more than to find a good home for my work, to be able to share it with the world and get paid for it. But being realistic has kept me from feeling too down on myself. I know the odds are against me, and it makes me appreciate every kind word, every small bit of praise. I've learned to appreciate the personalized rejections, the ones that say "this was great, but..." or "we really enjoyed your piece. Unfortunately..." I seize upon those words "enjoyed" and "great". I read them over and over again, smiling because my piece was good enough to warrant a personal touch. I'm improving, I whisper to myself with excitement.
There are some that hurt more than others. There are programs I've applied for and haven't made the cut. I wasn't good enough, I realize. There were far too many that were better than me. And that is always a lonely feeling. There are publications that I thought a piece of writing was absolutely perfect for, and I couldn't help but feel that this was going to be my one out of a hundred. But they weren't. They still sent a polite, impersonal rejection. And a little voice whispered, no one will ever read this.
The important thing is to keep moving forward. Perhaps no one will read it now, but they might later. Each new project gives me hope. Each reworked and edited piece of writing could be the draft that makes it. Rejection stings, but you can't win if you don't play. And one day, I want to be able to think about a particularly painful rejection and say to myself, I bet they feel stupid now.
They go together like a horse and carriage."
There's something else that goes together like a horse and carriage, and I'm not talking about peanut butter and jelly. I'm talking about writers and rejection. It's a lesson every writer must learn before they start sending their work out into the world and if you think you can avoid it, think again. It's a rite of passage we all must go through.
I was very lucky. When I first started showing my work to a Writer in Residence, she was very supportive and helpful, but she was also very realistic. She told me right from the start not to send my work out if rejection was something I couldn't handle. And if I had any illusions over how much rejection there would be, she squashed them when she told me that for every 100 submissions I made, I could expect 99 rejections. With such a blunt and abrupt truth welded to my brain, I began sending out my work. And you know what? With that bit of knowledge already crystal clear in my mind, I found the rejections didn't hurt nearly as much as I thought they would.
Sure, rejection is still disappointing. I would like nothing more than to find a good home for my work, to be able to share it with the world and get paid for it. But being realistic has kept me from feeling too down on myself. I know the odds are against me, and it makes me appreciate every kind word, every small bit of praise. I've learned to appreciate the personalized rejections, the ones that say "this was great, but..." or "we really enjoyed your piece. Unfortunately..." I seize upon those words "enjoyed" and "great". I read them over and over again, smiling because my piece was good enough to warrant a personal touch. I'm improving, I whisper to myself with excitement.
There are some that hurt more than others. There are programs I've applied for and haven't made the cut. I wasn't good enough, I realize. There were far too many that were better than me. And that is always a lonely feeling. There are publications that I thought a piece of writing was absolutely perfect for, and I couldn't help but feel that this was going to be my one out of a hundred. But they weren't. They still sent a polite, impersonal rejection. And a little voice whispered, no one will ever read this.
The important thing is to keep moving forward. Perhaps no one will read it now, but they might later. Each new project gives me hope. Each reworked and edited piece of writing could be the draft that makes it. Rejection stings, but you can't win if you don't play. And one day, I want to be able to think about a particularly painful rejection and say to myself, I bet they feel stupid now.
Monday, January 21, 2013
Baby Shower
Yesterday was my sister's baby shower. My other sister and I threw it for her, as we have a strong need to throw showers for everyone we know. I'm not sure where it comes from, but it started many years ago and now we can't let an engagement or birth go by without demanding the right to throw a shower. For our own sister we wanted to do something extra special, and after much debate we settled on our theme: children's books.
As with most things, the idea started with Pinterest and we took it and ran. The house was decorated with scenes from famous story books. There was Winnie the Pooh above the fireplace, Curious George in the corner, Robert Munch by the front door, Dr. Seuss in the dining room, The Hungry Caterpillar in the living room. Of course, the menu was themed as well, with a Hop on Popcorn bar, 'If You Give a Mouse a Cookie' cookies, a long, long hungry caterpillar made of cupcakes, 'Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs' meatballs, and etc. We also asked the guests to bring their own favourite childhood stories for the baby, so our nephew went home with a fully stocked library. (What writer doesn't want the children in their lives to be avid readers?)
Overall, everyone had a great time and my sister loved it. We had a really great time planning it as well, so it was funny to hear people ask us how much work went it to it. Because honestly, can you call it work when you loved doing it?
As with most things, the idea started with Pinterest and we took it and ran. The house was decorated with scenes from famous story books. There was Winnie the Pooh above the fireplace, Curious George in the corner, Robert Munch by the front door, Dr. Seuss in the dining room, The Hungry Caterpillar in the living room. Of course, the menu was themed as well, with a Hop on Popcorn bar, 'If You Give a Mouse a Cookie' cookies, a long, long hungry caterpillar made of cupcakes, 'Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs' meatballs, and etc. We also asked the guests to bring their own favourite childhood stories for the baby, so our nephew went home with a fully stocked library. (What writer doesn't want the children in their lives to be avid readers?)
Overall, everyone had a great time and my sister loved it. We had a really great time planning it as well, so it was funny to hear people ask us how much work went it to it. Because honestly, can you call it work when you loved doing it?
Friday, January 18, 2013
Five Sentence Friday - Forgotten
Welcome to Friday! This week's prompt, forgotten, is especially accurate because I almost forgot to do it. We'll blame that on my winter brain. If you'd like to learn more about Five Sentence Fiction, or give it a try yourself, just visit Lillie McFerrin Writes. Enjoy!
We live in perpetual darkness, huddled together, waiting to be discovered. We are your lost keys, your favourite toys, that beautiful pink shell you found on the beach on your honeymoon. We are the lost things, the forgotten things. We live in the dark corners of your mind, waiting for a bright ray of memory to bring us back into focus. We never lose hope; we might have been forgotten but we're not gone, not completely.
There you have it! If you enjoyed this little story, I hope you'll read the rest. Just follow the links below. If you really liked it then I hope you'll follow this blog and come find me on twitter, @MelanieKCole. Have a great weekend!
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Inspire
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Midnight
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Ending
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Vision
We live in perpetual darkness, huddled together, waiting to be discovered. We are your lost keys, your favourite toys, that beautiful pink shell you found on the beach on your honeymoon. We are the lost things, the forgotten things. We live in the dark corners of your mind, waiting for a bright ray of memory to bring us back into focus. We never lose hope; we might have been forgotten but we're not gone, not completely.
There you have it! If you enjoyed this little story, I hope you'll read the rest. Just follow the links below. If you really liked it then I hope you'll follow this blog and come find me on twitter, @MelanieKCole. Have a great weekend!
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Inspire
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Midnight
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Ending
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Vision
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Winter Prison
I know in some parts of the world, indeed even in this very country, spring is just around the corner. Not here. We have at least three full months left, and if I'm going to be totally honest, probably more. You really can't count on spring until May when you live in Saskatchewan. And as we move further into winter and its cold embrace, I'm feeling the need to hibernate more and more. No amount of sleep seems to be good enough. No matter what time I go to bed, I'm always wishing for a couple more hours when I get up. And afternoon naps are becoming a necessity.
Not only am I incessantly tired, but I can't seem to get warm enough either. Every day at work, there comes a point where my boss will suddenly announce that it's far too hot in our office and proceeds to turn the heat way down. I personally think she's crazy and would prefer that she turn the heat way up, but I'm alone in that regard. Everyone seems comfortable and warm, and I sit at my desk, bundled in my many layers and shiver. I've even started bringing a blanket with me to wrap up in, but it just makes me want to nap even more. It's a vicious cycle.
It doesn't help that the cold has prevented regular walks for our dog, who is prone to cabin fever. Leaving the house is a lengthy operation when you're living with a destructive Great Dane. Believe me when I say no where is high enough.
What is my point in all this? Well, there isn't one. It is just a cathartic rant to help keep the winter madness at bay. At least the continual presence of winter keeps me locked up and wrapped in blankets where I can write. I've been making good use of the time, too. I've been visiting the Writer in Residence, and with the Christmas rush behind me I'm back to editing my book, which feels pretty good. So, I guess there's a positive side to winter. I'm going to have to keep reminding myself of that if I'm going to make it through the next three months. And those of you out there already experiencing the first harbingers of Spring? Just keep it to yourself.
Not only am I incessantly tired, but I can't seem to get warm enough either. Every day at work, there comes a point where my boss will suddenly announce that it's far too hot in our office and proceeds to turn the heat way down. I personally think she's crazy and would prefer that she turn the heat way up, but I'm alone in that regard. Everyone seems comfortable and warm, and I sit at my desk, bundled in my many layers and shiver. I've even started bringing a blanket with me to wrap up in, but it just makes me want to nap even more. It's a vicious cycle.
It doesn't help that the cold has prevented regular walks for our dog, who is prone to cabin fever. Leaving the house is a lengthy operation when you're living with a destructive Great Dane. Believe me when I say no where is high enough.
What is my point in all this? Well, there isn't one. It is just a cathartic rant to help keep the winter madness at bay. At least the continual presence of winter keeps me locked up and wrapped in blankets where I can write. I've been making good use of the time, too. I've been visiting the Writer in Residence, and with the Christmas rush behind me I'm back to editing my book, which feels pretty good. So, I guess there's a positive side to winter. I'm going to have to keep reminding myself of that if I'm going to make it through the next three months. And those of you out there already experiencing the first harbingers of Spring? Just keep it to yourself.
Monday, January 14, 2013
300
This is my three hundredth post. I feel like I need to do something momentous to mark the occasion, but when I thought about writing a piece of flash fiction to celebrate, all that came to mind was the movie 300. Do you remember when it first came out and everyone was talking about how visually stunning it was? Now, if you watched it, the only thing you'd notice is how epically corny it is. Okay, I shouldn't speak for everyone. There are probably people out there who still like it. Where was I going with this? Right, three hundred. This is post number three hundred and I couldn't be happier. I have 31 followers and hopefully by the time I reach my thousandth post I'll have a hundred. (Although to be frank, I'd much prefer to have a thousand followers. Insert shameless plug here: follow my blog!) So, I was left with my conundrum. How to properly celebrate reaching the big three hundred? I agonized and agonized and finally just decided to do a piece of flash fiction anyway. So, I guess the moral of the story is: the answer to your question is usually the first thing that springs to mind. You can try chasing down a better one, but you'll probably just end up going in circles. Enjoy!
There you have it! I hope you liked it, because it was either this or a list of three hundred reasons why I'm awesome. So, I think I clearly made the right choice. Hopefully, this has inspired you to follow my blog as well as perhaps come find me on twitter, @MelanieKCole. Either way, I appreciate you taking the time to read my scribbles and I always welcome your comments. Thank you for celebrating my three hundredth post with me, may it bring good luck to you all day long.
300
She sat back in her chair, closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the wall behind her. The lights overhead caused stars to burst beneath her eyelids like fireworks. She massaged her temples and took slow, deep breaths. With a sigh, she opened her eyes and sat forward, shuffling the sheets of wrinkled paper in front of her into order.
She leafed through them slowly, her cramped, erratic handwriting filling each page and spilling out into the margins. She'd numbered them as she went; the only sign of order on the crowded pages. She caught snippets as she skimmed along but didn't stop to read her reasons. She knew them all by heart.
She turned to the last page and ran her finger over the number at the bottom. 300. 300 reasons. She waited, let the quiet press in on her. It was right there in her own handwriting. 300 reasons why she should leave. 300 reasons why this would never work. 300 reasons to get up, take the suitcase waiting by the door and take herself away. She could start somewhere new. This could all by a faded memory.
She traced the number one more time, felt the impression it made on the paper.
"Don't be a fool," she whispered.
She stood up, went to the door and picked up the suitcase. Outside, she pulled the door shut behind her and fit her key into the lock. She stopped. Her suitcase sat quietly on the step beside her, adding nothing. She stood, the sun warm on her back, hand on the key. She couldn't turn it. She couldn't lock the door.
She pulled the key from the lock slowly and slid it back into her pocket. She picked up her suitcase and went back inside, down the hallway and into the bedroom to unpack her things. She may have had 300 reasons to leave him, but she only needed one to stay. She loved him.
There you have it! I hope you liked it, because it was either this or a list of three hundred reasons why I'm awesome. So, I think I clearly made the right choice. Hopefully, this has inspired you to follow my blog as well as perhaps come find me on twitter, @MelanieKCole. Either way, I appreciate you taking the time to read my scribbles and I always welcome your comments. Thank you for celebrating my three hundredth post with me, may it bring good luck to you all day long.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Inspire
Welcome to Friday! It's time for a little Five Sentence Fiction, and this week's prompt is inspire. If you'd like to learn more about it, or give it a try yourself, just visit Lillie McFerrin Writes. Enjoy!
She knew before she entered the room, before she even finished turning the door knob. It didn't stop the searing pain of her heart tearing in two at the sight of the limp form on the floor, nor did it silence the wail of anguish as she threw herself on top of it and sobbed. Her hands were bloody, her face wet with tears, when she heard his voice.
"Tell me," he said, stepping out of the shadows, "have I managed to inspire you?"
With a scream she grabbed the knife, still wet with blood from the floor and lunged at his smiling face.
I hope you enjoyed this week's edition of Five Sentence Fiction. Usually when I look at the word inspire, I automatically think of cheesy posters and bad quotes, so when I saw this week's prompt I immediately decided to go in the opposite direction. If you liked this week's story and you'd like to read past editions, just follow the links below. As always, I welcome and appreciate your comments. Have a great weekend, everyone!
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Midnight
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Ending
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Vision
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Devotion
She knew before she entered the room, before she even finished turning the door knob. It didn't stop the searing pain of her heart tearing in two at the sight of the limp form on the floor, nor did it silence the wail of anguish as she threw herself on top of it and sobbed. Her hands were bloody, her face wet with tears, when she heard his voice.
"Tell me," he said, stepping out of the shadows, "have I managed to inspire you?"
With a scream she grabbed the knife, still wet with blood from the floor and lunged at his smiling face.
I hope you enjoyed this week's edition of Five Sentence Fiction. Usually when I look at the word inspire, I automatically think of cheesy posters and bad quotes, so when I saw this week's prompt I immediately decided to go in the opposite direction. If you liked this week's story and you'd like to read past editions, just follow the links below. As always, I welcome and appreciate your comments. Have a great weekend, everyone!
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Midnight
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Ending
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Vision
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Devotion
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Why Don't You Smell Like Bananas?
The other day I was driving with my sister to meet a friend for coffee and she was telling me how her husband was finally letting her keep bananas in the house. That might sound kind of odd, but her husband experienced some pretty awful food poisoning from a banana when he was younger and ever since hasn't been able to handle the smell of them. Which got me to thinking, why do I never see any banana scented products anywhere?
Think about it. Have you ever seen a banana flavoured shower gel or body spray? What about a room spray or candle? I'm pretty sure I had a strawberry banana lip smackers when I was young, but they never smelled like bananas, only strawberries.
So, what's the deal? I've seen some pretty weird flavours for scented candles, so you can't tell me that the scent of banana would be too far out there. And bananas have a very pleasant smell, maybe not to my brother in law, but to a lot of people. Is it just too hard to manufacture? Is no one working on this? They've never let inaccuracy stop them before. I've never found that any ocean scented product actually smelled like the ocean. Instead they just smelled like perfume, or what I always imagined the color blue would smell like. Where are the banana scented products? Why does no one smell like bananas?
I'm not sure where I'm going with this. It's possible I've just uncovered a giant banana flavoured conspiracy or it could be that I'm just bored. But now that you know the truth, can you really tell me you won't be thinking about this? That at some point today or tomorrow you won't stop and think: "why are there no banana scented products?" The truth is out there, people. The truth is out there.
Think about it. Have you ever seen a banana flavoured shower gel or body spray? What about a room spray or candle? I'm pretty sure I had a strawberry banana lip smackers when I was young, but they never smelled like bananas, only strawberries.
So, what's the deal? I've seen some pretty weird flavours for scented candles, so you can't tell me that the scent of banana would be too far out there. And bananas have a very pleasant smell, maybe not to my brother in law, but to a lot of people. Is it just too hard to manufacture? Is no one working on this? They've never let inaccuracy stop them before. I've never found that any ocean scented product actually smelled like the ocean. Instead they just smelled like perfume, or what I always imagined the color blue would smell like. Where are the banana scented products? Why does no one smell like bananas?
I'm not sure where I'm going with this. It's possible I've just uncovered a giant banana flavoured conspiracy or it could be that I'm just bored. But now that you know the truth, can you really tell me you won't be thinking about this? That at some point today or tomorrow you won't stop and think: "why are there no banana scented products?" The truth is out there, people. The truth is out there.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Roger the Date Octopus
Recently I came up with a concept that I think will revolutionize dating life. And no, I don't think it matters that I've been married for years and started dating my husband in high school, so don't bother pointing it out. It's called Roger the Date Octopus and it's about to make meeting Mr or Mrs Right a whole lot easier.
It started at coffee with the girls, where my sister was crocheting a stuffed octopus for a friend to give as a baby gift. It was adorable and I couldn't stop playing with it, slowly having it emerge from under the table and swim across the table at people. Which got me thinking, what a fabulous conversational ice breaker! You know that moment on every first date, where the conversation stutters and fails and you're both left floundering in awkward silence? That's where Roger the Date Octopus comes in.
It's the perfect test for compatibility. When the awkward moment hits, just subtly pull Roger the Date Octopus from your bag and have him emerge from under the table. Keeping a straight face, make him swim across the table to the other person. If they laugh at your adorable eccentricity and marvel at your flair for breaking awkward silence, then you know that they're worth a second date. If they're weirded out, or respond with haughty condescension, they're out like a bag of wet garbage. Voila! Roger the Date Octopus has saved the day.
If you want to get a little more creative with it, before going out you could also pin a note card with a conversation starter to each of his tentacles. Although I think Roger the Date Octopus already provides plenty by way of an ice breaker.
So, I think it's clear that I've revolutionized dating. It's only a matter of time before I get my own book deal and end up on Oprah. This is your opportunity to get in on the ground floor my friends, before everyone else is doing it. It's time to introduce the world to Roger the Date Octopus!
The picture is a little blurry, but you get the idea. Want one for yourself? Just visit my sister's Etsy site, send her a message and custom order one. Here is the link: Crochet by Megs. Remember, Mr/Mrs Right is just a Roger the Date Octopus away.
It started at coffee with the girls, where my sister was crocheting a stuffed octopus for a friend to give as a baby gift. It was adorable and I couldn't stop playing with it, slowly having it emerge from under the table and swim across the table at people. Which got me thinking, what a fabulous conversational ice breaker! You know that moment on every first date, where the conversation stutters and fails and you're both left floundering in awkward silence? That's where Roger the Date Octopus comes in.
It's the perfect test for compatibility. When the awkward moment hits, just subtly pull Roger the Date Octopus from your bag and have him emerge from under the table. Keeping a straight face, make him swim across the table to the other person. If they laugh at your adorable eccentricity and marvel at your flair for breaking awkward silence, then you know that they're worth a second date. If they're weirded out, or respond with haughty condescension, they're out like a bag of wet garbage. Voila! Roger the Date Octopus has saved the day.
If you want to get a little more creative with it, before going out you could also pin a note card with a conversation starter to each of his tentacles. Although I think Roger the Date Octopus already provides plenty by way of an ice breaker.
So, I think it's clear that I've revolutionized dating. It's only a matter of time before I get my own book deal and end up on Oprah. This is your opportunity to get in on the ground floor my friends, before everyone else is doing it. It's time to introduce the world to Roger the Date Octopus!
The picture is a little blurry, but you get the idea. Want one for yourself? Just visit my sister's Etsy site, send her a message and custom order one. Here is the link: Crochet by Megs. Remember, Mr/Mrs Right is just a Roger the Date Octopus away.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Midnight
It's that time again. Welcome to Friday and this week's edition of Five Sentence Fiction. This week's prompt is midnight. If you'd like to learn more about Five Sentence Fiction, or give it a try yourself, just visit Lillie McFerrin Writes. Enjoy!
It was after midnight. What I should have been thinking was how tired I'd be at work tomorrow, but I wasn't. Instead I was standing in the backyard, looking up at the glowing green light in the sky and I wasn't the only one; crowds of neighbours were doing the same in their own yards.
It looked like that question had finally been answered. We weren't alone after all.
Cue the X-Files music, am I right? Well, I hope you enjoyed this latest edition. If you'd like to keep reading, just follow the links below to past editions of Five Sentence Fiction or just explore the blog for a bit. As always, your comments are welcome and appreciated. Thanks for reading and have a great weekend!
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Ending
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Vision
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Devotion
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Time
It was after midnight. What I should have been thinking was how tired I'd be at work tomorrow, but I wasn't. Instead I was standing in the backyard, looking up at the glowing green light in the sky and I wasn't the only one; crowds of neighbours were doing the same in their own yards.
It looked like that question had finally been answered. We weren't alone after all.
Cue the X-Files music, am I right? Well, I hope you enjoyed this latest edition. If you'd like to keep reading, just follow the links below to past editions of Five Sentence Fiction or just explore the blog for a bit. As always, your comments are welcome and appreciated. Thanks for reading and have a great weekend!
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Ending
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Vision
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Devotion
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Time
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Work and Writing
Today, I'm back at work. I can't say as I'm really happy about it, every day of my time off was pure bliss, nor can I say I'm really unhappy about it either. I like my job, and a return to it is also a return to structure. Which probably doesn't sound that great, but it is.
While I was on vacation, I was very relaxed about my schedule. As long as the dog and the rabbits were fed on time, I didn't really care about anything else. I cleaned when I felt like it, read when I felt like it, took naps when I was tired. I stayed up as long as I liked and slept in every morning. It felt great, but I wasn't especially productive, particularly where it concerned my writing. Work puts me back on a regular schedule. I have to be up at a certain time, to bed on a certain time. I know how much free time I have each evening and how much of it I can dedicate to writing.
It's the beginning of a new year and I have goals I want to get a head start on. Work gives me self discipline I just don't have when I'm on vacation. So, it is with hopeful optimism that I return to work and my writing goals.
While I was on vacation, I was very relaxed about my schedule. As long as the dog and the rabbits were fed on time, I didn't really care about anything else. I cleaned when I felt like it, read when I felt like it, took naps when I was tired. I stayed up as long as I liked and slept in every morning. It felt great, but I wasn't especially productive, particularly where it concerned my writing. Work puts me back on a regular schedule. I have to be up at a certain time, to bed on a certain time. I know how much free time I have each evening and how much of it I can dedicate to writing.
It's the beginning of a new year and I have goals I want to get a head start on. Work gives me self discipline I just don't have when I'm on vacation. So, it is with hopeful optimism that I return to work and my writing goals.
Monday, December 31, 2012
New Year's Eve
It's time for me to fess up. I've already mentioned several times that I work for some pretty great people at my job, and one of the many reasons they're so great to work for is that they shut down for Christmas and don't open the office again until the new year. It's wonderful. This year, my last day was December 21st and I don't go back until January 2nd. That's a lot of time off. You'd think I'd do something productive with it, right? Well, this is where it gets a little embarrassing, because I didn't. Okay, that's not entirely true. I've done a lot of housecleaning. But I didn't do a lot of writing. In fact, barely any.
I guess I was just so stressed out and tired from all the Christmas prep (and a few other writing projects as well) that I needed some time to just 'be'. (That sounds very Oprah, but it's true.) I cleaned the house when it suited me, took naps, read good books. It was magical. And now, with a new year upon us, it's time to get back to work. But that's what I love about New Year's Eve. It's not the parties, the countdown at midnight or even the midnight kiss. It's the beauty of a brand new, completely untarnished year about to begin. How do I want 2013 to go? What will it hold for my writing career? December 31st is a glorious potion of hope and ambition that fills me with passion for at least a few weeks, before of course, we all get tired and start to slide on our goals.
But even with the inevitable decline of ambition, I still make new year's resolutions every year. Making goals gives me purpose and every time I meet one I feel amazing. It's worth a little hair pulling and irritation a few weeks into January when laziness starts to kick in just to remind myself that there are things worth working for. And my writing career is definitely one of them.
I guess I was just so stressed out and tired from all the Christmas prep (and a few other writing projects as well) that I needed some time to just 'be'. (That sounds very Oprah, but it's true.) I cleaned the house when it suited me, took naps, read good books. It was magical. And now, with a new year upon us, it's time to get back to work. But that's what I love about New Year's Eve. It's not the parties, the countdown at midnight or even the midnight kiss. It's the beauty of a brand new, completely untarnished year about to begin. How do I want 2013 to go? What will it hold for my writing career? December 31st is a glorious potion of hope and ambition that fills me with passion for at least a few weeks, before of course, we all get tired and start to slide on our goals.
But even with the inevitable decline of ambition, I still make new year's resolutions every year. Making goals gives me purpose and every time I meet one I feel amazing. It's worth a little hair pulling and irritation a few weeks into January when laziness starts to kick in just to remind myself that there are things worth working for. And my writing career is definitely one of them.
Friday, December 28, 2012
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Ending
Welcome to Friday! It's been quite a week over in my corner of the world. Boxing Day actually gave us quite the beating. As you might already know, we discovered a gas leak in our gas fireplace several days ago. That was irritating enough. But on Boxing Day, we also lost our internet connection, our playstation hard drive bit the dust and a person lost control of their car and crashed into my husband's, which was parked on the street. So, all in all it was an interesting day. And here we thought we'd played it safe by staying in all day. In any case, I'm relieved it's Friday and hopefully our bad luck is behind us. Of course, it also means it's time for some Five Sentence Fiction. This week's prompt is ending. If you'd like to learn more about Five Sentence Fiction, or give it a try, just visit Lillie McFerrin Writes. Enjoy!
He held out his hand, towering over her on his tall, white horse. She took it, letting him pull her up into his big, strong arms, tight against his broad chest. She looked up at his blue eyes, his gleaming white teeth. With a shake of the reins they were riding off into the sunset, supposedly towards a happy ending. But if that was the case, why did it feel so wrong?
I hope you've enjoyed this week's edition of Five Sentence Fiction. If you'd like to read past editions, just follow the link below. Your comments are welcome (and very much appreciated!) below in the comments section. Have a great weekend.
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Vision
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Devotion
Five Sentence Fiction - Time
Five Sentence Fiction - Joy
He held out his hand, towering over her on his tall, white horse. She took it, letting him pull her up into his big, strong arms, tight against his broad chest. She looked up at his blue eyes, his gleaming white teeth. With a shake of the reins they were riding off into the sunset, supposedly towards a happy ending. But if that was the case, why did it feel so wrong?
I hope you've enjoyed this week's edition of Five Sentence Fiction. If you'd like to read past editions, just follow the link below. Your comments are welcome (and very much appreciated!) below in the comments section. Have a great weekend.
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Vision
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Devotion
Five Sentence Fiction - Time
Five Sentence Fiction - Joy
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Boxing Day
Well, I survived Christmas and homemade Christmas was a complete success. Now comes my favourite part of the holidays, the quiet that comes afterward. Now my days are filled with sleeping in, eating leftovers and reading good books.
Of course, it would have helped if I hadn't come home yesterday to our internet being down. My husband was on the phone with our internet provider for a half hour before he could get us back online and even still they have to come by on January 3rd because we're still not totally sure what the problem is. For some reason it just stopped working at one of our outlets.
The good news? I didn't get my customary Christmas illness. It seems every Christmas I come down with something whether it be the flu, a nasty cold or food poisoning. But not this year. I've made it to Boxing Day without woofing my cookies or filling nearby garbage cans with kleenex. So, at least I have that.
What about you? Did you survive the holidays?
Of course, it would have helped if I hadn't come home yesterday to our internet being down. My husband was on the phone with our internet provider for a half hour before he could get us back online and even still they have to come by on January 3rd because we're still not totally sure what the problem is. For some reason it just stopped working at one of our outlets.
The good news? I didn't get my customary Christmas illness. It seems every Christmas I come down with something whether it be the flu, a nasty cold or food poisoning. But not this year. I've made it to Boxing Day without woofing my cookies or filling nearby garbage cans with kleenex. So, at least I have that.
What about you? Did you survive the holidays?
Monday, December 24, 2012
I Made It! (literally)
Well, I'm exhausted, but I did it. As of late last night all our gifts were wrapped and ready to go. I don't think I'm up for another homemade Christmas. Not that I have a problem with homemade gifts, but I'm just not very creative. Or efficient. Tie that in with regular holiday stress and the gas leak we've been dealing with in our fireplace (don't ask), I think I'd rather go the less stressful and work intensive route with a little online shopping ahead of time.
And once Christmas is behind me, the real vacation begins. That's right. I'm off work until January 2nd. Why? Because I have the greatest bosses in the history of mankind. Here's my plan for my time off: sleep, read, repeat. Thanks to a long list of book recommendations from Erin Morgenstern's blog, I have ten books sitting on my dining room table waiting to be read. And so far they've been fantastic. But in the meantime, I'm going to spend some quality time with my family, cuddle my nephew and eat some delicious food. Happy holidays!
And once Christmas is behind me, the real vacation begins. That's right. I'm off work until January 2nd. Why? Because I have the greatest bosses in the history of mankind. Here's my plan for my time off: sleep, read, repeat. Thanks to a long list of book recommendations from Erin Morgenstern's blog, I have ten books sitting on my dining room table waiting to be read. And so far they've been fantastic. But in the meantime, I'm going to spend some quality time with my family, cuddle my nephew and eat some delicious food. Happy holidays!
Friday, December 21, 2012
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Vision
I can't believe it's already the end of the world... I mean Friday. Obviously if you're reading this then all is well, or at least the internet somehow managed to survive the apocalypse, which means it can't be all that bad. This week's edition is a little bit different, because it wasn't just me that wrote it. It was actually my husband that did most of it.
Last night we decided to head out to a little tapas place in our neighborhood and over some ridiculously good gnocchi and duck poutine I told him the list of stuff I had to do that evening.
"Too bad we don't have a pen and paper, we could write your blog post right now."
With a smirk I pulled a notebook and pen out of my purse (as if a writer would leave the house without one) and we promptly set to work. So, I hope you enjoy our little collaboration. This week's prompt is vision. If you'd like to learn more about Five Sentence Fiction, or give it a try, just visit Lille McFerrin Writes. Enjoy!
The sight of her washed over me like a violent ocean wave. I was her captive, unable to tell up from down, unable to breathe. Speechless, I stared at her, unable to move, my mouth opening and closing like a mute fish.
She shook her head and looked at me with frustration.
"I said, do you want fries with that?"
Yes, yes I did.
Voila! A merry little piece of fiction to brighten your Friday thanks to my witty husband, an excellent dinner partner and collaborator. If you liked that one, I hope you'll check out the rest! Just follow the links below. Make sure you take some time and enjoy this last weekend before Christmas. Put your feet up, sleep in, and for the love of God, don't go near the malls.
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Devotion
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Time
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Joy
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Feast
Last night we decided to head out to a little tapas place in our neighborhood and over some ridiculously good gnocchi and duck poutine I told him the list of stuff I had to do that evening.
"Too bad we don't have a pen and paper, we could write your blog post right now."
With a smirk I pulled a notebook and pen out of my purse (as if a writer would leave the house without one) and we promptly set to work. So, I hope you enjoy our little collaboration. This week's prompt is vision. If you'd like to learn more about Five Sentence Fiction, or give it a try, just visit Lille McFerrin Writes. Enjoy!
The sight of her washed over me like a violent ocean wave. I was her captive, unable to tell up from down, unable to breathe. Speechless, I stared at her, unable to move, my mouth opening and closing like a mute fish.
She shook her head and looked at me with frustration.
"I said, do you want fries with that?"
Yes, yes I did.
Voila! A merry little piece of fiction to brighten your Friday thanks to my witty husband, an excellent dinner partner and collaborator. If you liked that one, I hope you'll check out the rest! Just follow the links below. Make sure you take some time and enjoy this last weekend before Christmas. Put your feet up, sleep in, and for the love of God, don't go near the malls.
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Devotion
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Time
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Joy
Five Sentence Fiction Friday - Feast
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Christmas is Coming
Christmas is bearing down on me like a predator. It's less than a week away now and I can see it clearly on the horizon. I'm sure a lot of you are looking at its approach with glee, but unfortunately I'm not ready. Not at all. I was optimistic this weekend, as I chugged along on my various projects, but so far this week I haven't had time to do anything. My plan was to be finished everything by Friday, so I could have a few days to relax before Christmas. Alas things are looking grim.
Don't worry, I haven't given up hope yet. I'm a procrastinator by nature, so I work well under pressure. Fear of failure is an excellent driving force. Which is why this going to be a rather short post. Sorry, but time is of the essence. If you're behind on your own holiday prep, I wish you luck as well. Of course, I will be back again on Friday, so stay tuned.
Don't worry, I haven't given up hope yet. I'm a procrastinator by nature, so I work well under pressure. Fear of failure is an excellent driving force. Which is why this going to be a rather short post. Sorry, but time is of the essence. If you're behind on your own holiday prep, I wish you luck as well. Of course, I will be back again on Friday, so stay tuned.
Monday, December 17, 2012
The Dinner Party
Last night I attended the best dinner party I've ever been to. I'm serious. It was incredible.
It was at the house of my best friend, a woman so full of kindness, generosity and creativity it makes my heart swell with joy just to have her in my life. I know you probably think I'm exaggerating, but I'm not. Do you remember how in every classic Disney movie, the heroine would always be surrounded by cuddly forest creatures? It's like that.
She's always been a domestic diva, her house makes you want to curl up and stay forever. She does everything from refinishing antique furniture, to sewing, painting original pictures for her walls and artfully displaying books on her bookshelves. Have I properly set the scene yet? As you might have guessed, her talent doesn't end in the kitchen. It explodes like fireworks. Last night's meal was so good, I actually teared up after a bite of her garlic mashed potatoes.
To make matters even more splendid, last night's dinner guests were all women. An eclectic mix of smart, witty, genuine and hilarious ladies that made for a fantastic evening. So fantastic that I only managed maybe six hours of sleep and I'm a little bleary eyed at work this morning. But that's okay, because I had a great time.
And I have leftovers for lunch.
It was at the house of my best friend, a woman so full of kindness, generosity and creativity it makes my heart swell with joy just to have her in my life. I know you probably think I'm exaggerating, but I'm not. Do you remember how in every classic Disney movie, the heroine would always be surrounded by cuddly forest creatures? It's like that.
She's always been a domestic diva, her house makes you want to curl up and stay forever. She does everything from refinishing antique furniture, to sewing, painting original pictures for her walls and artfully displaying books on her bookshelves. Have I properly set the scene yet? As you might have guessed, her talent doesn't end in the kitchen. It explodes like fireworks. Last night's meal was so good, I actually teared up after a bite of her garlic mashed potatoes.
To make matters even more splendid, last night's dinner guests were all women. An eclectic mix of smart, witty, genuine and hilarious ladies that made for a fantastic evening. So fantastic that I only managed maybe six hours of sleep and I'm a little bleary eyed at work this morning. But that's okay, because I had a great time.
And I have leftovers for lunch.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
